yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
