Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
