you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Still dying that you shit outside
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
