that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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