Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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