he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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