Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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