she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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