i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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