fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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