He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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