Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just found puke in my bra..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
