idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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