is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.