Do you still have your period?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!