Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen