A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm too high and old for this...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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