I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
this is an emotional support booty call
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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