just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
