the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
