Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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