i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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