brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
