It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize