we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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