She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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