You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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