He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
