she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
