i already hear my dad disowning me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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