weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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