Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
