dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize