So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
