I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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