Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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