It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I am one with the molecules
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize