Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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