Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i will never coherently bang her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
