Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
