There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
