I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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