it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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