Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
