i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
