Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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