Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
