If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
