Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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