i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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