Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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