Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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