My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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