We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize