I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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