took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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