these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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