so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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