I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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