Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
