these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
