There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I did not marry a roomba.
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